Chapter One


Grand Tally, the worldʼs foremost mapmaker, deliberately issues a U.S. road atlas minus the state of Montana. This move unleashes a national drama that alternates between Moosehead, Montana and New York City and ends—literally—in an explosion. The slapstick action brings together the Montana militia, the FBI, journalists, New York celebrities and a charismatic Christian cult headed west to meet the Rapture.


A slap-stick and satiric novel, Grand Tally was inspired by a story told to me by a writer for People magazine. According to this writer, a major U.S. mapmaker issued a road atlas minus one of the western states. As I pondered how such a gaff could have happened, I realized that since the bottom line is everything in today’s business, a firm erun by accountants could care less about quality. If the accountants specified that the atlas was to have 120 pages, and the proofs returned with 122 pages, two pages would have to be cut. Thus was Grand Tally born.


“Robert Wolf has created a strange and wonderful world, all his own, and peopled it with characters and events that seem not only plausible but real. Wildly creative and written with great style and an enviable satirical touch, this one delights on many levels.” — Rick Kogan, Chicago Tribune

Reader’s Reviews (Amazon Kindle)

In this fast paced look at many of the diseases of our society, the author explores incompetence in corporate America, dysfunctional government agencies, botched attempts at covering mistakes, radical right-wing groups, irresponsible journalism, stupid talk show media, religious zealots and others; all with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek. With a skilled brush, Robert Wolf paints a canvas that is at once disgusting, frightening and hilarious. A delightful read! — Love my dog Banjo

"Grand Tally" has so many sly and outright references to the quirks of being in America that it's page-turning fun. In the midst of laughing at outrageous scenes, you suddenly realize they all have the ring of truth. "Grand Tally" may change the way you see TV, the government, and the people who have issues with both of them. The premise -- a map with a missing state -- launches a wild ride that's rivals any amusement park. — JulieStarGazer

This rollicking romp opens on a far-fetched premise before quickly evolving into a series of hilarious sub-plots which more often than not make the reader laugh out loud. The reader dispenses with the "believability" factor of the storyline early on, choosing instead just to go with it, to see where all the strange, if not plain weird threads lead. GRAND TALLY is farcical in theme but extremely true-to-life in its content. You've met these characters before. You just don't know how or where all their adventures inside a disjointed post-911 American culture will intertwine by book's end. Chicken Little is falling everywhere; there is no Montana. Until Montana reasserts herself. And somehow amidst the antics of these characters it makes sense. Life is a series of accidental occurrences and unexpected turns which cannot be anticipated. Compelling dialogue is the author's primary literary technique in the telling of this engaging tale. I would urge readers to take a weekend and read GRAND TALLY in a compressed time frame. Putting the book down and revisiting it two weeks later might disrupt the pace of action and it would do a serious injustice to the author's intent. You might wind up losing who is doing what where if you read this at a leisurely pace. Mania reigns here. Reading the story in one or two settings is highly recommended. Robert Wolf has always possessed great talent. He is a great storyteller. He shines in GRAND TALLY. — Rod Haynes

Grand Tally is a fun, fast, wild ride of a read. No culture, industry, religion or utopia is safe from Wolf’s deft wit. The picture he paints of crooked businessmen, suspicious government agencies, cults, our celebrity-crazed media, and small town fanaticism brings to mind the classics of madcap American cinema. It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Moosehead out there! — Kate

This book kept me up way past my bedtime. First, because it’s so much fun to read. There are slapstick moments that make you laugh out loud. But what predominates is more of a quiet humor based on what is really a searing look at the effect of mega corporations, religion, government and what we as a people value. What makes it so powerful is that it is all done with an understated, well-crafted story. No preaching (at least none by the author) just story.

Beginning with one of the best premises for a story I have ever encountered---which is only hinted at on the cover—and ending in a way that would satisfy even the most demanding reader—this is a book that is both fun and has a message. — Roger W. Wright

Very simply I ask, when will the movie go into production? Of course Mr. Wolf’s work will then be nominated for best picture, best screen writer, and can’t wait to learn who’s being cast! — R. Isaacs

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